On Family

When young people are depressed, many of them turn to their friends for help. And others turn to the internet. Okay so what if they turn to the internet? What if they look for validation among people unknown to them?

The reality is that people tend to open up when they’re sad and that openness leads to vulnerability.

But that’s not my only point. I’m trying to get somewhere with this. When these young people lock themselves up into their own worlds (whether that be the virtual world or that of intoxication), they are consequently distancing themselves from the people who love them most-their family members.

Yes it’s true that sometimes your family does wrong you and sometimes they are the cause of your stress, but if you do not make the effort to improve your relations with them, you will always be miserable.

We always hear in Islam the importance of family ties and the danger of breaking them. Your emotional isolation may or may not count as breaking family ties, but stop for a second and think what your dad must be feeling when he asks you what you did at school and you say “nothing” or how your mom must be forcing herself to eat when you didn’t come down to dinner. Imagine what your younger brother must be feeling when you refuse to play a game of basketball with him or what your younger sister must be feeling when you refuse to read her a bedtime story.

If you’re a person who doesn’t spend much time with your family, set aside a day of your week only for them and see how happy you become. That happiness is not coincidental; it is a result of the blessings that Allah has put in spending time with your family.

Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah said:
“Learn enough about your lineage to facilitate keeping your ties of kinship. Forindeed keeping the ties of kinship encourages affection among the relatives, increases the wealth, and increases the lifespan.” Jami’ At-Tirmidhi (Hasan)
Abu Ayyub al-Ansari told him that a bedouin came to the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, while he was travelling. He asked, “Tell me what will bring me near to the Garden and keep me far from the Fire.” He replied,“Worship Allah and do not associate anything with Him, perform the prayer, pay zakat, and maintain ties of kinship.” (Al-Adab al-Mufrad)
Disclaimer: If you suffering from physical, mental or emotional abuse from your family or you need to be away from them for a while, that’s completely fine and you may even need to seek help from outside sources like a mentor, counselor or the authorities. What I meant by depression in this post was probably the minor kind, or the everyday struggles that keep us from giving time to our family. We all know ourselves better than others and May Allah rectify our affairs.
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